I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Acid is not a monday night drug
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
