his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
