fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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