just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
