I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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