They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
