even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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