I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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