I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So many bounce houses so little time
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
