Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
