yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
