normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
