Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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