Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
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