she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
