Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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