i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
She said her name was "party"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
