i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
