I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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