I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
this will be a night to untag.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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