don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Randomize
