the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
