we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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