I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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