When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
