i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
