I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize