You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
