if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
