I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Need sex. Gaining weight.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
