my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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