Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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