Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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