I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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