Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
