my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
