i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
