I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
