My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I can't turn off my feet"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
