oh god the rape fog is back!
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
