Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
