I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
