please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize