Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
