first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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