How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
