you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize