I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
