Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
