he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
is that a dick in a sweater?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
