idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
4 words: hood of his car
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Enjoy the penises
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
