he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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