called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Randomize
