I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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