Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize