At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Just cropdusted the office
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
