it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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