I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
