Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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