Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
