Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
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