I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
