I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I am available for nakedness
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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