How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
