True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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