From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize