My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
and she was petting her beer can
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
