haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
