dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
