I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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