Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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