Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
