Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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