sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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