So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize