That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
