my room smells like sperm. sweet.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
