Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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