I smell stomach acid.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
